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Sharon's email address: townsend@grandecom.net

The title of this tale is: If She's Been At the Table So Long, Why Can She Still Not Play? 

1947, Michigan: Saw my first pool table. Wasn't tall enough to see that there were holes in it, but saw the posts in the middle. (Clue: bumper)

1957-60, Indiana: Daddy had a bar box in the basement (probably Sears special). Wasn't interested. 

1960-63, Indiana: Had a friend who had a friend who was working his way through college playing pool. (I love that line. How many times have you heard it?) Curious, but not allowed in pool hall. (Clue: gender)

1964-70, Louisiana, New York: No exposure. 

1971, Houston: Took solemn vow never to work in an office again; answered help wanted ad for 'recreation center.' (Clue: 18 4x8 tables, 200 adolescent males) If they could do it, I could do it. Unfortunately, none of us could do it. I had a great -- and I do mean terrific -- time, but didn't learn anything. Then someone walked in the door who could do it, and I left with him.

1975, Austin: Met Belinda Campos. Unfortunately, her guy and my guy were arch rivals, and any conversation between Belinda and me was viewed as treason.

1976-77, Austin: Guys out of the picture, Belinda and I became friends. She and I worked in different pool halls owned by the same man and began to play together occasionally. (Vow regarding office work rescinded due to hunger, but work in pool room on Saturdays earned money to buy cue.) Flash forward 20 years to difference in my game and Belinda's. (Clue: 26,832 hours of practice) No kidding! I figured it out with a calculator.

1978, Austin: Met Harvey. Many of you know Harvey. He comes to all the Hunter stops in Austin so he can hang out with Lucille and Suzanne. His heart belongs to Heather, he dates Kim, Rachel will be his if Travis ever blinks, and he wants to bring Melinda Bailey home to live with us.  Harvey can play. (OK, you've never seen him play. Or you saw him a couple of times and he didn't look that great. But don't be fooled. Harvey knows pool.)

2003, Austin: Back to title. (Clue: 'If She's Been At the Table So Long, Why Can She Still Not Play?') In the last 25 years, I have played a lot of pool. I have advanced one level; that is, I now understand that there's more to the game than simply making the ball and leaving the cue ball in the same general quadrant of the table as the next ball. Why haven't I learned more? My eyes and ears rebel against those who have tried to teach me, especially Harvey, from whom I could learn more than I could ever hope to execute. I can't listen to anyone. But I can still give advice! And here's mine for you: Read the books, study the tapes, watch the good players and listen to them, and practice, practice, practice. If you do, I can't promise that you'll win the next WPBA event, but if you don't, I can promise you'll play just like me